Again, Russia Has Me in its Vice Grip

As a rule, during my summer vacations I am the laziest, most useless person within a 50-mile radius of myself. The only thing that can get me off my ass is the opportunity to pursue or in some way nudge along the realization of my dreams. In this case, the dream is Russia (oh-so-vague), as any of my friends or acquaintances who have been cornered into listening to me blab about it will know. More specifically, the dream is to become a specialist in Russian area studies. So today, in order to edge that dream along just a little, I went and got my required HIV test for the Russian visa, and I paid off my Moscow State University tuition. So, having fulfilled a small morsel of my responsibilities, I was feeling pretty good about myself for a good 10 minutes. Then that cranky little curmudgeon of a voice in the back of my head started yammering away. That little shit. Here's what it said:

"Buff, WTF are you doing? Okay, great, your 'dream' of becoming a Russia expert sounds pretty impressive when you tell people about it. But when it comes right down to it, WTF does it even mean to be an expert in that BS? I mean, what kind of job are you going to get with all of that education in Russian studies? Sure, it's cool to dream and all, but dreaming is for people who are still in college. You graduated, son. Think about it. You are going to have to eventually get a job. What are you gonna do, be like one of those spies for the US that got swapped the other day for some Russians? I mean, how realistic is that? It's time to grow up, Buff."

This is what I'm up against. Myself. I know, it could be worse. But really, that bitchy little voice in my head is more practical than I am. Maybe it's time for me to wake up and smell the roses. After all, I'm taking a major risk by pursuing such an obscure realm of study. What if I get all of this education, only to become something entirely irrelevant to my years and years of study? What if I'm wasting my time? Then my ultimate nightmare will become a reality: my parents will be able to say "I told you so." GAHHHHHH.