Condoleezza Rice is a Bitch

Why does Stanford host all the best speakers when I am away? Earlier this week Condoleezza Rice had a Q&A in one of the dorms at Stanford, which I watched on YouTube. I was hoping some of the students would put her in her place, but instead she put them in their place. Damn bitch. During the Bush administration she authorized the use of waterboarding (definition according to Wikipedia: a form of torture consisting of immobilizing the victim on his/her back with the head inclined downwards, and then pouring water over the face and into the breathing passages. By forced suffocation and inhalation of water, the subject experiences drowning and is caused to believe they are about to die.) Sounds like torture to me. But according to Condi during the Q&A session, no, it's not torture, she would never authorize torture. Then she accused the students of not having done their homework and that they should keep their comments to themselves until they knew what they were talking about. And of course she referred to 9/11 as many times as is humanly possible. Whatever, Condi. You's a bitch.

Anyway, Stanford also hosted Colin Powell and one of the actors from The Office this year, among some other speakers I can't remember. Kinda sucks. At least during my first two years I took full advantage of all the celebrity speakers Stanford hosted. So far my list includes Bill Gates, Ted Koppel, Ralph Nader, Natalie Portman, and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

I hope we have a good commencement speaker my senior year. Last year it was Oprah Winfrey, but the year before that it was some poet laureate no one had ever heard of. My ideal commencement speaker would be Jon Stewart, but that'll never happen, since he charges $300,000 per speech. What a sell-out.