Complacency

It's midterms week. I have a 5-6 page paper (written in Spanish) due tomorrow and just started writing it today. I feel a sense of kindship with my classmates because most of them haven't even started. That's what happens when your Politics and Culture in Chile class sucks and your professor sucks even worse. Professor Subercaseaux is annoying for a number of reasons, the number one reason being that he repeats "No es cierto?" literally every 10 seconds. He also talks like he's got a mouth full of mashed potatoes, has all white hair except for his eyebrows and moustache, and assigns us presentations only to interrupt us every sentence to go off on a 10-minute-long boring-ass tangent. But like one of my classmates told me yesterday, bitching about it doesn't help. I disagree with that, since bitching significantly lifts my spirits, but I guess listening to someone bitch isn't quite as entertaining as being the one doing the bitching.

Facundo went back to Argentina last night, so now that he is gone I have much more free time to dedicate to my latest project: watching movies. My goal is to watch all the "greats", or at least the movies that people talk about a lot. Not quite as ambitious a project as working on a llama farm or landing an internship, but rejection certainly lower's one's standards. So far I have watched Traffic, Volver, Constantine, Mona Lisa Smile, Babel, Amelie, Kill Bill, Donnie Darko, and V for Vendetta. Not a very impressive list, but I'm working on it. Tonight I am going to rent the Matrix, even though Keanu Reeves is an annoying and sucky actor. My goal is to become more "well-read" with regards to movies. I have never been much of a movie person because they usually bore the hell out of me, but I am trying to turn a new leaf.

As you might be able to tell from my latest blog posts, I am becoming complacent. It could be because I have been in Chile long enough so that I am now in a place to take it for granted. I think I have stopped paying attention to my surroundings and am living in the future, waiting for summer to come around so I can go home. Earlier this year, especially around the time Tahir Shah came around, I was chomping at the bit to get started on projects and planning my near future. But that inspiration has worn off due to rejections and the numbing power of time. To be honest, I am quite disappointed in myself at this point. I am not developing any new projects, going on any interesting trips, doing anything at all. I spent awhile looking at grad schools the other day, but that's about it. I think maybe I have been here too long and there is nothing here left for me to discover. Maybe I just need to move on with my life as soon as possible. Whatever it is, I do not like the feeling of complacency, and I hate taking things for granted when I know I am going to miss them when they are gone. Oh, the human condition. I wish there were something I could do to avoid it.